It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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