I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
