It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I want is dick and wine.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize