I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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