my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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