Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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