Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and i looked up. we had an audience...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
