'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
