i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
