ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
