The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
