And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
