The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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