is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize