dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
