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• (209): View more from California

  just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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• (530): View more from California

  I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.

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• (408): View more from California

  My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.

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• (661): View more from California

  We should get drunk in walmart

  (1-661): View more from California

  when?

  (661): View more from California

  20 minutes ago

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