It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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