remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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