The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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