Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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