Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
