I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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