I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
