Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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