He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
