my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
only if we run a train.
done.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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