I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
