Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
