They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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