Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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