how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
