my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
