Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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