but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
