I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
