Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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