I wannas sexs uuuuu
i permit you to call me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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