My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
