my mouth tastes like poor choices
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry about my life...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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