party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
wow bdsm is so cute
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