she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
