I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am available for nakedness
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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