I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
