he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
