Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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