cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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