man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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