remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Where is the hickey?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
