if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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