My room smells like vodka and shame
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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