I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
