In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize