Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
