Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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