I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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