i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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