You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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